It Takes a Village

The Proverbial “It takes a Village to raise a child” has been running through my mind lately.

I have done some research as to the origin of this phrase. It originates in Africa. It is considered an Igbo and Yoruba Proverb on how the culture feels on raising their “God giving blessings” children. This phrase conveys the African world view that emphasizes the values of family relationships, parental care, and self-sacrificing concern for others, sharing and hospitality. It means that the parents alone cannot raise a child to grow into functioning adults without the support of extended family and the community. Years later the phrase is used by Hillary Clinton in a book on children and family values. I have to read this book someday.

I personally have my own take on this well-known phrase. I have twin daughters who are now 7. My husband and I both work full time as most do these days. Our time, and well to be honest, our patience is somewhat limited. It is hard to admit that as raising our children should be our top priority.

For the first few years of my daughter’s lives I am sure I was on a caffeinated auto pilot mode. There was so much to do in such little time. My husband and I barely had time to say hello to each other let alone nourish our relationship with each other. We were so limited on time we did not even have time to argue. We existed.. plain as that. We lived in a community where you almost never saw anyone and everyone kept to themselves. There were very few children let alone babies. This was ok before our children were born as we were the same. But once the girls came it changed everything.

Then one day I got it in my head to move. Whatever possessed me to throw this into our already jam packed lives is beyond me. But we survived the twists of turns of selling and buying as ours was not the simple transition it should have been. And so this leads to today.

We are in our home 3 years now. Our first year, in our new home, we remained on our ever constant existence of the fast paced life. I know now this was somewhat due to our circumstances at the time and in addition my inability to ask anyone for help. Stubbornness or OCD whichever be the case held me back from many years of experiencing so much with my family. However, the community we moved to does not run on fast pace. I am blessed to be surrounded by many amazing people who do not accept my “do it all” stubborn ways. Instead they have made their way past my walls and have become the community that has become part of my children’s upbringing. A very dear friend takes time out of her busy schedule to spend time with my daughters so my husband and I can have time to be with each other. A requirement I am told by this dear friend because a strong relationship is what brings up strong confident children. Another friend stops by unexpectedly and asks if she can take the girls next door to her house to play in the sprinklers. Not only does she play with them so I can get some things done in our home, but she gave them lunch as well. Out of the blue just like that I manage to get done in a couple hours what would normally take me a minimal of two days. In addition to these amazing people is the women whom the girls go to while I am at work. She doesn’t just turn the TV on for them to watch as she goes about her day. She helps them with homework so it is done and I can be with them when I get home. She encourages them to use their imagination instead of their Kindles. She talks TO them not AT them. They are not her income they are part of her life. She loves them..it’s as simple as that.

So as I thought of our lives and our new “Village” I am thankful for everything that got us to here as these are the people I want to help raise my children. Their actions will be forever embedded in my children as they grown to adulthood. My children, my happy children, are no longer subjected to our fast paced simply existent ways. With the help of our Village my husband and I have learned to slow down and let others help us in the most important thing we can ever do in this world. Raise our children.