On the Day you were Born

Ashley (1.6 pounds, 10 inches long)

Sarah (2.3 pounds, 15 inches long)

On the day you were born Too little, too soon I laid in denial, I didn’t know what to do.

On the day you were born, I prayed and I cried For the babies I needed to stay safely inside

On the day you were born two months before due Your heart rate kept dropping, Mine kept dropping too

On the day you were born I wore a fake smile Pretend to be happy, you’re meeting your child

Nurses, doctors and daddy, looking at me with worry No time for steroids you were in such a hurry

On the day you were born my world came crashing down There was nothing to do but deliver you now

In the bright room I go for the C-section scar It only took 2 minutes of pulling, and whoop, there you are

So little, so fragile, nothing like the norm I thought I would lose you on the day you were born

They whisked you both away before I could say hi I spent the whole evening trying not to cry

Soon I was left alone in my room I mourned for the babies I’d failed from the womb

On the day you were born, Mommy just couldn’t cope I desperately needed to see signs of hope

You were both less than 2 pounds and I wasn’t so sure That good things could come from blessings so premature

I couldn’t meet you till I was better as I stayed heartbroken and torn I had to wait hours in my room on the day you were born

And then I went walking, Motherhood in suspense The happiness fleeting, the sorrow intense

Before I went in, I said to the worry…. they deserves a proud mommy, no matter how early

I walked to your ICU, to my delayed joy Yes you were really little, but MY little bundles of joy

You waved a small hand, calling for me to take it From that moment on, I knew you would both make it

I sat there for hours committed to see Just a hint of the miracles waiting for me I replaced my new faith with the guilt I had worn On the beautiful, magical, day you were born

Here we go, on our journey, no time left to doubt For the first time in your life, I wanted you out!!

Released from the NICU and home in your room Laughing and playing and sleeping till noon

So here goes your mother whose heartbeat you know We are in this together, on a journey to grow

My babies you gave me far better than “norm” My children, survivor’s, from the day you were born.