A Facebook Memory

Each morning I take a few minutes and check out face book. Most times this does not take much time because I scroll past all the negative comments or rants people feel the need to post. I scroll past all the embarrassing quotes reminding myself to unfriend certain people. I go straight to the pictures of friends I never get to see, family updates that you would not hear of otherwise and then onto the face book memories that pop up on my page. The majority of my posts are, of course, of the the girls. Today's memory is that but so much more so I will share with you.

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Bergetta K. Hugus

July 8, 2015 ·

Having children is always interesting. Last night the girls asked why I write things and never let anyone read them. I tried to explain it is how I sort my feelings out only to be "reminded" that I have told the girls the best way to figure things out is to talk to Mommy and to try not to hide from things that bother them. I was reminded of this as we were going to bed and I said what I always say to them;

I whisper the words….“From Heaven to Earth…From the first star to the last… I love You with all my heart”.

They asked where I had heard it. I got that lump in my throat as I told them my Grandma always said it to me and then shared with them something I had written awhile ago.

Of course no matter how long she has been in heaven I am selfishly sad she is not with me and so I try to hold back the tears from the girls. A whispered voice attached to a strong hug says "Remember Mommy don't hide your feelings, tell us you miss her. It is OK we Love her too even though we never met her". And so in promise to the girls for not "hiding" how I feel about my Grandma Kelly I am posting this.

As her memory fades, mine begins to replace hers. I begin to tell her all the stories she has told me through the years. She smiles when I talk about her childhood, it becomes familiar to her; you can see her sky blue eyes light up.

The stories of school days, her first date with Grandpap, how Grandpap proposed, how Grandpap got her wedding ring. She smiles, she remembers.

As I wash and curl her hair I am taken back, I clearly can see when I was a little girl and she washed my hair in the sink. She brushed it ever so gently and pulled it back with a red ribbon. That is until my brother, Dean, cut my hair. This makes her smile, we laugh, she remembers.

I tell her again how much I hated that yellow frilly dress. She smiles in memory of my trip up the cherry tree. I scuffed my shoes and ripped the dress, a tomboy through and through. She smiles even more when I remember, as a child of six, asking Pastor Dave to marry me in that dress that I hated so much. She laughs as she remembers

During my teenage years the memories are difficult as I cannot recall too many good times. Although Gramma and Grandpap tried I am sure I disappointed them greatly those years. As I talk about this she smiles, touching my face with her soft hands, and tells me she does not remember. She only remembers that I am her wish come true. For this I am grateful.

As a young adult, my memories begin again. I have matured enough to know how difficult it must have been on them to raise me at their age. To show this, I begin to turn the tables. Simple things, road trips, groceries, cleaning, an occasional sleepover to ensure they are ok. And each time Grandma and Grandpap tell me how much they appreciated the help. But in my heart it is I who realizes how lucky I am to have them and appreciate my time with them.

Grandpap has gone to heaven,

the time has come that Gramma needs more help. I am there for her like she was for me. I do not want to disappoint her. Will I do things right for her? Will I be as loving and as patient to her as she was with me? I take on this new role slowly at first but it becomes clear that she needs me just as much as I had needed her. Completely!

A whole new role now Her Memory. As I remember for her, she smiles.

I will always be proud of my Grandparents. I will always remember my Grandparents. I will always have them with me, For because of the way they were, I am able to be the way I am. For this I will be forever grateful.

I love and miss you Grandma and Grandpap; the Angels in heaven who guard my children I think of you each night as I whisper the words you whispered to me…. “From Heaven to Earth…From the first star to the last… I love You with all my heart”

Tribute to My Grandma who died Sept 2005 Bergetta Kelly Hugus

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